Parenting Advice - The Nuts and Bolts of Quality Time

Contrary to popular notion, the best parent-child memories are not created out of major milestones marked with much celebration and fanfare. It's the little moments spent in doing things together that create beautiful memories - cherished and held close to the heart forever.

What constitutes quality time?

Both parents and children seem to agree that spending casual time (just being together, doing simple things like talking to each other or playing games together) is the best way to share meaningful time. The second most popular choice is participating in sports and other outdoor activities together. The winning ingredient throughout is personal interaction.

On the other hand, there are significant differences in the way fathers and mothers view meaningful time:

? Mothers tend to be more oriented towards informal interaction and instructive activities - Fathers lean towards athletic and event-type activities

? Mothers are more protective and engage their children in mostly social exchanges - Fathers are more willing to allow their kids to take risks during play

Finding Quality Together Time In The Little Things

The verdict is in, and is borne out by sociological evidence - children who receive lots of positive attention from their parents are more likely to develop a clear system of values and live satisfying and productive lives.

The process of developing a good parent-child relationship can and should start from the time the child is born. Here are some of the typical parent-child exchanges that occur during the different stages of a child's life - the kind that make meaningful moments and beautiful memories:

? For tiny tots - feeding time, bath time and playing peek-a-boo

? During the toddler stage - looking at picture books, playing on the floor or going for strolls

? For preschoolers - walks to and from the playground, visiting the library or just running around in the open

? For school-age kids - time spent on bike rides, playing ball etc.

? For teenagers - teenagers abhor hanging out with dad or mum - it is the source of much unnecessary angst. However, they enjoy spending time with their parents in activities like listening to music together

TIP: Making it a habit to have at least one meal a day together with your child can pay rich dividends as it provides you with the opportunity to stay connected and find out what's going on in your child's life.

Mother-Son, Mother-Daughter, Father-Son and Father-Daughter: Are They Distinct Relationships?

There is plenty of evidence that suggests fathers and mothers aren't interchangeable in their relationships towards their sons or daughter, though relationships between the four dyads of father-son, father-daughter, mother-son and mother-daughter are distinctly different.

That said, all children, whether boys or girls, need to have abundant positive interaction with both parents for overall personal and emotional development. Each distinct interaction, though dramatically different, offers different benefits and teaches different life-skills.

For all of you dads and mums out there looking for some special way to spend time with your sons or daughters - a few suggestions:

Father-Son Quality Time:

? Taking your son to watch the soccer or cricket finals live so that he can cheer his favorite team on beats watching the match on TV hands down

? Spend the weekend fishing or camping in the wilderness - just the two of you. The connection made using a rod, reel and bait can withstand most relationship vagaries later on. Besides, there'll be plenty of stories to regale others with for years to come

? Suggest a carpentry project that you can help him with - perhaps a gift for mum on mother's day?

? Teach your son to make periscopes, paper planes, reef knots and home-made go-karts. It's something that he will probably want to do with his own sons some day.

? Get him to help you wash down your bike or car at least once a week

Father-Daughter Quality Time:

? Spend the day on the beach. Helping her dig that long deep tunnel in the sand is sure to establish the feeling of "My daddy greatest" for a long, long time to come. If your daughter is old enough, help her build a gigantic sand castle instead.

? Take her to a stationery store and let her pick up some dainty writing paper that all girls so love to write on.

? How about an ice-cream after dinner - just you and her?

Mother-Son Quality Time

? Spend a few minutes every day trying to put together that 1000-piece double-sided puzzle featuring a crowd of people lying on the beach. Trying to figure out which piece goes where can make for many a hilarious moment

? Book ringside seats for the circus

? Spend the day at the planetarium or the aquarium. A science museum is a nice alternative

Mother-Daughter Quality Time:

? Attend stained glass painting or pottery classes together

? Do a craft or hobby together - it could be making balloon papier-m?ch? dolls, origami or even Christmas cards and Diwali/New Year stars

? An outdoor activity is a great way to spend time and enjoy a wonderful sunny day together

Remember:

? A child that lives with affection learns to love

? A child that lives with encouragement learns to be confident

? A child that lives with truth learns to be honest

? A child that lives with happiness learns to find joy and beauty in everything

Spending quality time together with your children is the best gift you can give them. No toy, irrespective of cost, can ever be a suitable alternative.